Day 3 – The Mail

Today’s task was pretty easy, but so necessary.  I had a stack of mail on top of the printer and an entire drawer packed full of mail – so I’ve also taken this opportunity to update as many of our bills to paperless as possible (I’m all for freeing up time that I’d waste organizing it after the tower of paper starts falling off of the printer… and it doesn’t hurt to save a few trees in the process).  

So, here are today’s pictures:

Someday… I plan to upgrade to a small file cabinet and alphabetize everything.  Someday.

I was looking at my blog stats today and was totally surprised.  I started this blog before my husband deployed last September.  My plan was to write about what is happening here at home so that he and our family that we don’t talk to everyday could stay up to date.  I never expected to have anyone I didn’t know personally to be remotely interested in the random things I’ve posted.  But to my 12 followers – thank you 🙂  I’ve reached 300+ page views since February and that is what makes me want to continue posting.  Blogging is the only time of day that I have to myself, but because I don’t blog until evening, I don’t put a lot of thought into what or how I write (this kills me because since high school I have always dreamed of becoming a published author).  I’m hoping that after Zach is home and I have more adult conversation each day my brain won’t be so fried.  Anyway, thank you to all of you who read each boring, random post.  It means a lot to me 🙂

We didn’t do much today, we got to Skype with Zach for quite a while this morning and relaxed most of the day.  Kaden has been carrying around $4 and stuffing it in random toys (somehow he hasn’t lost a single dollar in the past 2 weeks he’s had the money), so we made him a bank today.

I asked him what he is going to save his money for.  His answer?  A motorcycle….”cause motorcycles are cool, mommy!”

I found another quote this week that I love.  Zach and I got married just 6 weeks before he deployed last year, so our first year of marriage has been interesting to say the least.  We haven’t had the chance to live together for very long or to experience any of the struggles and happiness that a normal first year of marriage brings.  Through this deployment we have experienced many new struggles and a different kind of happiness than I ever expected to have.  We have grown in ways I didn’t know were possible and we’ve gotten closer in ways we never could have if we hadn’t had to spend so much time apart.  We’ve had to trust each other 100% and find a way to be “together” while we’re 8,000 miles apart, instead of letting the distance divide us.  I absolutely hate having to spend this time apart, but I’m thankful for what it has made us.  I have heard multiple times (as I know every other military wife has), people telling me they “don’t know how I do it” or that they “would never be strong enough to love someone who’d have to be away so much”.  I’m never quite sure if they want an answer, explanation or expect me to have an emotional breakdown, so I just smile and nod.  But the alternative to all the lonely nights, the long and, at times, frustrating days… is to not have him.  And that would be far more painful than any deployment.

So, for us, I don’t expect to have a perfect marriage, to never fight or to have unending bliss in between deployments – my only wish is for forever enough.

Enough patience to stay the course.
Enough passion to get angry.
Enough intrigue to hold attention.
Enough encouragement to grow together.
Enough leniency to forgive missteps and faults.
Enough humility to always count our blessings.
Enough wit to keep laughing.
Enough love to last a lifetime.

You Hold My Every Moment ♥

Today has been a good day, especially because Kaden & I got to start our day by Skyping with Zach 🙂  I know that not every day is going to be good, so this post is for all of the bad days over the next several months.

Our pastor has been doing a series on prayer, which has always been a struggle for me.  I’ve always been a worrier, even more so since I had Kaden and now that Zach isn’t here.  So, my goal over the next few months [& the only way I’m going to survive this deployment] is to “just pray“.  I know that God had this deployment planned for a reason and even though it’s hard not to question it some days, I wouldn’t change it.  Just over the past few months, Zach and I have gotten closer and learned more about each other than we ever could if we had a “normal” relationship.  I hate that he’s gone and it’s  impossible not to be terrified something could happen to him, but that is where the praying comes in.  No amount of worry, tears or anger will protect him or bring him home sooner.  He’s in God’s hands and every moment has already been planned.  All I can do is trust God to lead me through whatever comes our way.  I know I’ll still have days that I’ll wish I could throw a fit like my 3 year old and demand to have my husband home.  I’ll have days that I don’t want to do anything but feel sorry for myself and my family.  But no matter how selfish I feel on some days, I know that I’m not the only one hurting, I’m not the only one missing him and I’m not the only person to have gone through this before.  And more than anything, I know God won’t give me more than I can handle.  I know we can all make it through this deployment and we’ll be stronger because of it – and for every person waiting for Zach to get off the bus when he comes home, I’m sure we’ll all agree it was worth the pain.

So, when I don’t want to drag myself out of bed in the morning and for the nights I have to go to sleep without saying goodnight to my husband – I’m going to come back to this post and know that He holds my every moment.

Jeremiah 29:11-13

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.“